I have decided to love no matter what. I have learned to catch myself in tense situations. My wife is beautifully created in unique ways, and I no longer want to change her. I value her as a gift from God in my life. I must stay focused on God. Satan will do whatever he can to come between us.
Being with the Group has helped me to look at what I do have. I now want to put down my guard and respect my husband. Our future is great and full of hope. We are on the same team and on the same playing field, united against the enemy for keeps.
I learned it is OK to have emotions and to share them with others closest to me. I am beginning to feel whole and in harmony with God and the world. I am more accepting of my wife’s needs and of her as an individual.
I was surprised to see how much I learned about myself from the Group. I could see myself when listening to the stories of others. I could hear God through them. I really appreciate all the group members.
WIFE J :
It is amazing to see how the couples in the group have changed! Their issues seemed so huge. They seem empowered and peaceful, ready to take on whatever God has for them.
When we first came, I felt hopeless and desperate. I questioned if God wanted me to be happy. I have done bad things. But now, in some strange way, I believe that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Something was very wrong in me. My wife and my children need me. God wants me to open my heart. I take responsibility for the pain I have caused.
A very tender exchange occurred that further reinforces the value of and healing potential of the Group experience:
HUSBAND E was suffering pain and remorse in having shared his infidelities with the Group. One of the other wives reached out to him, validating him for his humility and repentance, reinforcing how far removed he is from the cultural acceptance of infidelity. He felt forgiven by God and by his peers.
OLDER HUSBAND TO YOUNGER COUPLE IN THE GROUP:
I commend you for having the courage and wisdom to come early in your marriage and not just bury things and co-exist. I wish we had come earlier. I envision you two older and together.
HUSBAND J TO THE GROUP:
God has used you to speak to me. I could see little pieces of me in you. I appreciate your being vulnerable in front of me.